Almost a Year

It has been nearly a year since I posted anything to this blog.

Today, it is Christmas, and as I type this, I am listening to peaceful Christmas music and sipping coffee. So much has happened this past year. I have endured some of the most relentless and violent assaults from the devil that I have ever seen in my lifetime. I have also seen God’s promises constantly coming alive in my life to overcome each obstacle in ways that only He could have ever done. I will have other blogs touching on that at a later time. Continue reading →

Heaven’s Witness Relocation Program

I am convinced that Heaven has a witness relocation program.

I think that Adam and Eve had to have their names changed. Think about it.

It’s because of Adam the world got messed up. The reason why guys has to work so hard to make a living. Every guy who gets there is going to want to ask him, “What on Earth were you thinking?”

Because of Eve, women had pain in childbirth and monthly cramps. Women are gonna want some ‘splainin. So are the guys since they had to suffer in their own rights each month. Don’t believe me? Ask any PMS poster child, and he’ll tell you.

So I think when we get to Heaven we’re going to find a lot of people looking for Adam and Eve.

Only to find out their names have been changed to Bob and Francis. They are the only ones who are going to have a protection detail.

I can see it now. Everywhere they go, they will be surrounded by angels with sunglasses who are talking into their wings.

Otherwise, Bob and Francis…AKA Adam and Eve…are going to have a lot of people constantly asking them questions for all of eternity!

 

One Man’s Treasure

One day a very wealthy man died and went home to be with the Lord. Immediately, he began bargaining with God about taking something to Heaven with Him. The Lord told him that he’d have to leave everything behind.

Adamantly, the man stood his ground and kept hounding God about taking something with him. They went round and round, back and forth until finally the Father, weary of the fight, agreed. God said, “If it will get you to stop arguing, you can bring one bag with you.”

The man, now happy he’d won, got to the pearly gates, where he was met by Saint Peter. Peter also began to argue with the man telling him that he couldn’t take anything into Heaven.

Again, the man stood his ground and told Peter that he had special permission to bring his one bag into Heaven with him. The two argued for a while until the man told Peter to call God and ask Him. So Peter called the Throne Room to double check, and after a short time returned to continue the conversation with the new arrival.

“Well,” he said scratching his head, “I’ve never seen this before but the Father said it was OK, and if it’s OK with Him, then it’s OK with me.” So he let the man into Heaven carrying his bag.

The man proudly carried it under his arm. After all, he was the only one to pull off such a feat. News of his arrival and his possession quickly carried through all of Heaven. People stopped to stare at him as he walked past them.

Finally, the apostle Paul came up and started talking with him.

“Sir, I hope you don’t mind, but it is no secret what you’ve managed to accomplish. Never before has the Father ever let anyone come into Heaven with anything, much less a bag full of something. Would you mind, please, if I took a look at what was in your bag?”

The man, who was grinning ear to ear, was eager to show off his wares. “Why no, not at all. I don’t mind a bit,” he said. So he quickly opened up the bag and presented it to Paul.

When Paul looked into the bag, it was filled with solid gold bricks.

Paul, who had a puzzled look on his face, checked the bag two more times before speaking again.

“Uh, Sir? Why did you bring pavement?”